Avoid Repeating the "Adolescence" Scenario: How Parents Can Avoid Raising a Child Who Might Harm Others

Author:

Markiian Klymkovetskyi

The Netflix series Adolescence quickly soared into the platform’s global Top 10 and sparked widespread discussions—on parenting forums, over kitchen tables, and in therapists’ offices. It also raised several tricky but essential questions about motherhood and fatherhood.

At the center of the story is 13-year-old Jamie, who’s accused of committing a brutal crime. His parents are shocked—they barely recognize their own child. But with every episode, it becomes more and more clear: the warning signs had been there all along. And if someone had noticed them in time, the tragedy might have been prevented.

The story is fictional but inspired by real events. And it raises an uncomfortable yet vital question: Do we really know the person living close to us?

Psychologist Oksana Pysareva from the Voices of Children Foundation explains how to recognize when your child is drifting away.

Teens May Seem Grown-Up, But They Aren’t

Many parents assume that if a child can heat up their own lunch, they must be grown-ups. But that’s a dangerous illusion. During adolescence, the brain is still developing—especially the prefrontal cortex, which governs impulse control and decision-making. It doesn’t fully mature until the ages of 18 to 20.

Teens often appear independent but still need boundaries, stability, and emotional support. They also need a reliable adult they can trust—even when they deny it.

How to Recognize When Your Child Feels Isolated

Pay attention to sudden or ongoing changes in your child’s behavior:

withdrawing and avoiding communication;
losing interest in friends, school, or hobbies;
changes in sleep or appetite;
spending excessive time communicating online;
giving repetitive, flat answers like "fine" or "I don’t know";
displaying nonverbal signals: always keeping hands in pockets, avoiding eye contact, hiding in oversized hoodies, and so on.

This isn’t just "a teen age." These are signs that your child is struggling—and unsuccessfully trying to cope alone.

How to Talk to a Teen the Right Way

The classic "How was your day?" rarely works. Try open-ended questions instead:

"What do you think about...?"
"How do you feel about it?"
"What would you do in that situation?"

The goal isn’t to control them—it’s to show genuine interest. You’re not just looking for updates from their life; you’re trying to understand how your child thinks and feels.

What to Do When Your Child Doesn’t Want to Talk

Sometimes, teens simply aren’t ready to open up to a parent. That’s when it’s crucial to bring in other trusted adults—someone they feel safe with. This could be a coach, a teacher, or a godparent.

Invite your child to see a psychologist—together. And if they’re not comfortable going with you, ask another trusted adult to go with them instead.

This isn’t a parenting failure—it’s wisdom. Being there for your child doesn’t mean you have to be their only source of support.

Why Staying Close Matters

Teenagers crave support, a sense of purpose, and acceptance. If they can’t find it at home, they’ll look elsewhere. And unfortunately, not every place they turn to is safe.

Being close means seeing, hearing, and supporting your child. Even when it’s hard. Even when they seem to push you away.

If you share our mission, support the Voices of Children Foundation with a donation. Together, we can help even more children who need it.