Author:
Olha Yerokhina
The changes brought by the war have affected everyone, yet society is adapting to them unevenly. A significant number of Ukrainians continue to live trapped in unresolved trauma, which destructively affects both physical health and social relationships. In this context, one of the most difficult challenges is overcoming the barriers that stand in the way of professional psychological support, which is especially common among older generations.
Our work at the Voices of Children Foundation allows us to identify certain patterns in how psychotherapy is perceived across different age groups. Today, the core of our audience consists of mothers aged 30–40 and their children, who actively and trustingly engage in therapeutic processes. Yet beyond this “zone of openness” remain many older adults. Although these conclusions come from empirical experience rather than comprehensive statistical data, they clearly highlight a problem: older adults rarely become initiators or active participants in psychological rehabilitation, creating a gap within the family system of recovery.
Our work at the Voices of Children Foundation allows us to identify certain patterns in how psychotherapy is perceived across different age groups. Today, the core of our audience consists of mothers aged 30–40 and their children, who actively and trustingly engage in therapeutic processes. Yet beyond this “zone of openness” remain many older adults. Although these conclusions come from empirical experience rather than comprehensive statistical data, they clearly highlight a problem: older adults rarely become initiators or active participants in psychological rehabilitation, creating a gap within the family system of recovery.
“I’m convinced that a conversation with someone close to you is often more effective than visiting a therapist’s office. A loved one understands your situation from the inside and can offer advice from their own life experience that may work for you as well. A psychologist remains a stranger, someone it’s difficult to reveal your secrets or deepest thoughts to, while you naturally trust those close to you much more. I also fully agree with the idea that Ukrainians are a nation hardened by history, with a special inner resilience. It’s part of who we are, and I don’t believe this mindset harms us.
If we talk about my own fears regarding therapy, what scares me most is not losing control or admitting weakness, but realizing that my views on life may be wrong, and that I would need to change them and work on myself. That is a difficult process people naturally want to avoid.”
If we talk about my own fears regarding therapy, what scares me most is not losing control or admitting weakness, but realizing that my views on life may be wrong, and that I would need to change them and work on myself. That is a difficult process people naturally want to avoid.”
According to data from Gradus Research and the “How Are You?” initiative, the demand for psychological support is growing. Yet actual help-seeking remains limited by self-reliance and stigma, particularly among older generations.
The psychological state of Ukrainians today is sharply divided along generational lines, with each age group adapting to prolonged stress in its own way.
The psychological state of Ukrainians today is sharply divided along generational lines, with each age group adapting to prolonged stress in its own way.
- The most vulnerable, but at the same time the most open to seeking help, is Generation Z (ages 14–24). The level of negative emotional states among young people exceeds 60%, the highest figure in the country. Yet this generation is also shaping a culture of openness: Gen Z actively turns to psychotherapy and even uses artificial intelligence as a tool for emotional self-support. For example, one in six girls in this group already consults AI about her emotional experiences.
“For me and the people around me, seeing a psychologist is not about reaching a ‘breaking point.’ It’s about dealing with discomfort you can’t cope with on your own. It’s a way to understand what is happening and regain a sense of control over the situation. Although there are still teenagers who feel ashamed of seeking professional help, in my social circle it’s completely normal, and sometimes even trendy.
From my own experience, I can say the scariest thing about therapy is facing yourself honestly, seeing your imperfect sides, and accepting them. It’s painful, but without that, it’s impossible to understand who you truly are. Psychology has partly become mainstream today, but most people seek professional help not out of curiosity, but to solve specific problems. The war has broken many people, and specialists are often the path toward healing.”
From my own experience, I can say the scariest thing about therapy is facing yourself honestly, seeing your imperfect sides, and accepting them. It’s painful, but without that, it’s impossible to understand who you truly are. Psychology has partly become mainstream today, but most people seek professional help not out of curiosity, but to solve specific problems. The war has broken many people, and specialists are often the path toward healing.”
- In contrast, Millennials (25–34) are the most active “driving force” behind seeking professional support. Although 14% of them assess their emotional condition as unsatisfactory, this generation tries to maintain a balance between planning for the future and coping with severe depressive states caused by overwhelming pressure.
- Meanwhile, Generation X (35–54) often finds itself trapped in what could be called a “responsibility trap.” Many experience moderate to high levels of stress while simultaneously ignoring their own needs. Their behavior is often guided by the belief that “others have it worse,” which leads them to focus on caring for children and elderly parents while postponing attention to their own mental health.
- The most difficult situation is observed among Baby Boomers (55+). This group demonstrates critically high levels of hopelessness, yet they are the least likely to seek psychological support. Due to sociocultural barriers and stigma, older generations rarely trust mental health specialists, preferring instead to rely on family doctors or attempt to cope on their own.
Overall, the broader trend suggests that openness to professional help decreases sharply with age, despite an objective deterioration in emotional well-being.
“Honestly, I can’t even imagine what would have to happen in my life for me to suddenly decide to see a psychologist. In sixty years, I’ve lived through all kinds of situations, some of them extremely difficult, but I always found a way out. I have loyal friends, I have a wife whose life wisdom outweighs that of a dozen specialists, and in the end, I have a good head on my shoulders, and that's how I muddle through.
A psychologist listens only because it’s their job and they get paid for it; in reality, they don’t truly care about me or my problems. That’s why sincerity and support from people who love me will always come first for me.”
A psychologist listens only because it’s their job and they get paid for it; in reality, they don’t truly care about me or my problems. That’s why sincerity and support from people who love me will always come first for me.”
Olena Lisova, a psychologist at the Voices of Children Foundation, explains that at the root of the anxiety people naturally experience before seeking psychological support lie deep existential mechanisms. Resistance to therapy is not simple stubbornness, but a protective response to fears of losing love, stability, or control. In the psychologist’s office, this often appears as fear of losing the familiar “mask” a person has built over many years and seeing themselves as they truly are — emotionally exposed and therefore vulnerable.
Denial, as one possible psychological defense mechanism, functions much like the sudden disappearance of a toothache the moment a person sits down in a dentist’s chair: avoidance becomes the psyche’s attempt to protect itself from pain that currently feels unbearable.
Denial, as one possible psychological defense mechanism, functions much like the sudden disappearance of a toothache the moment a person sits down in a dentist’s chair: avoidance becomes the psyche’s attempt to protect itself from pain that currently feels unbearable.
“In our practice, we often see that resistance to change has not only emotional but also physiological roots. The brain operates according to the principle of conserving energy, while building new neural connections requires enormous effort and energy expenditure, which the body naturally resists.”
At the same time, war trauma distorts the entire family system. If parents, grandparents, and other older relatives are not involved in the recovery process, the child returns to an environment filled with the same anxiety and resistance. When parents or older family members find the courage to step beyond the limits of their familiar ‘masks’ and take responsibility for their own emotional condition, they give the child the most important thing: a sense of stability and permission to begin healing as well. Only by overcoming this collective resistance and working together can we break the chain through which trauma is passed on to future generations.
Yet even among those who spent decades relying solely on their own “hardened resilience,” new voices are emerging that recognize professional help not as weakness, but as a necessary condition for preserving emotional wholeness. One vivid example of this conscious approach is the perspective of Ms. Vira.
Yet even among those who spent decades relying solely on their own “hardened resilience,” new voices are emerging that recognize professional help not as weakness, but as a necessary condition for preserving emotional wholeness. One vivid example of this conscious approach is the perspective of Ms. Vira.
“There Is No Such Thing as Genetic Resilience. We Are All Human”
“I’m convinced people should go to a psychologist not only when they are already in critical condition. On the contrary, specialists should be accessible for resolving any problem before it completely destroys a person’s life. Because once someone finally ‘breaks,’ they are often no longer capable of seeking help themselves. At that moment, there needs to be someone nearby who can take them by the hand and guide them there.
No conversation with friends or relatives can replace a professional psychologist. Beyond academic training, specialists bring hands-on experience with specific forms of trauma that loved ones simply cannot offer. The key thing in this process is trust. Without it, psychotherapy cannot work, and a person will only withdraw deeper into themselves. Some pain runs too deep to heal alone. That is why professional support will always remain necessary.”
No conversation with friends or relatives can replace a professional psychologist. Beyond academic training, specialists bring hands-on experience with specific forms of trauma that loved ones simply cannot offer. The key thing in this process is trust. Without it, psychotherapy cannot work, and a person will only withdraw deeper into themselves. Some pain runs too deep to heal alone. That is why professional support will always remain necessary.”
Olena Lisova argues that the myth of the “hardened nation” today functions as a form of collective denial. It sustains national pride and resilience while simultaneously legitimizing the neglect of trauma. Scientific research confirms that collective trauma shapes national identity, but also creates a transgenerational burden — a tendency to silence pain.
“This phenomenon is not unique to Ukraine. International studies of Jewish and Balkan communities show that myths about “superhuman resilience” often conceal an unfinished process of grief. In psychoanalytic terms, denial is a defense mechanism that helps society survive moments of shock. Yet eventually, we must move toward acceptance, recognizing the scale of loss and reconciling ourselves with irreversible consequences.”
Heroes need support, too. Ukrainians are undoubtedly heroic people, but heroes are not immortal. Excessive heroization becomes dangerous precisely because it leaves no room for vulnerability. The task of psychologists today is to help separate pride in resilience from the right to receive support.
Today, we are already seeing the turning point. Even older generations are appearing in psychologists’ offices more frequently. Often, children or grandchildren are the ones who bring them there, opening for them a safe space where they can take a closer look at the institution of support and finally move toward their own healing. Meanwhile, younger generations increasingly perceive psychological support not as a sign of weakness, but as a resource.
To survive a war, we must care for every aspect of health, and mental health comes first.
Today, we are already seeing the turning point. Even older generations are appearing in psychologists’ offices more frequently. Often, children or grandchildren are the ones who bring them there, opening for them a safe space where they can take a closer look at the institution of support and finally move toward their own healing. Meanwhile, younger generations increasingly perceive psychological support not as a sign of weakness, but as a resource.
To survive a war, we must care for every aspect of health, and mental health comes first.
“Meeting Your Real Self”
“For teenagers, visiting a specialist is first and foremost an attempt to make sense of inner chaos. Emotions often erupt uncontrollably, every event feels like the end of the world, and we simply don’t know how to calm these ‘explosions’ inside us. The narrative about ‘genetic resilience’ seems unhealthy to me because it prevents people from seeking professional help in time. Yes, we are proud that we endured, but deep down this is still a painful experience that would have been better never to happen.
Although psychology is everywhere now and sometimes even feels trendy, it’s important to distinguish performative openness from genuine inner work. Real work on yourself is deeply personal and not something displayed publicly. Before the war, I treated psychologists as something of a joke. But the war, which happened during my teenage years, changed everything. Thanks to the Foundation’s projects, I understood for the first time what professional support really means. Today, for teenagers, it is not simply important. It is vital.”
Although psychology is everywhere now and sometimes even feels trendy, it’s important to distinguish performative openness from genuine inner work. Real work on yourself is deeply personal and not something displayed publicly. Before the war, I treated psychologists as something of a joke. But the war, which happened during my teenage years, changed everything. Thanks to the Foundation’s projects, I understood for the first time what professional support really means. Today, for teenagers, it is not simply important. It is vital.”
These words offer tremendous hope. Even as the Ukrainian nation passes through the furnace of unprecedented trauma, we can already see that young people are not afraid of vulnerability and understand the value of emotional well-being. That awareness may become the foundation for the country’s future recovery.
There is every reason to believe that the next generation, despite everything it has endured, can still become mentally healthy. Because it is already choosing not merely to “hold on by the last thread,” but to heal in order to keep living.
There is every reason to believe that the next generation, despite everything it has endured, can still become mentally healthy. Because it is already choosing not merely to “hold on by the last thread,” but to heal in order to keep living.
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